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Fifty, Fat and the other F word because today I am 49 + 🖕🏼

(Foul language 🚨) A few months ago I declared I would issue a cease and desist order on weight loss for my 50th birthday. Today is that day. I spent the first 50 years of my life (to be fair, not the ENTIRE 50 but definitely the “adult” portion of the 50) continually focusing on weight and its effect on my appearance. Clarification: when I say “continually focusing on” I don’t mean I was always dieting or living and dying by the number on the scale. I simply mean that wanting to look better consumed my thoughts whether I acted on it or not. There were time periods during those 50 years when I gave up completely and embraced defeat. There were also times when I experienced levels of success (mild, moderate or kickass) and foolishly allowed myself to believe the battle was won. Whether I was at my highest weight or my lowest, the focus was still on the same issue-wanting to modify my body.

Essentially I've dedicated half of a century to being dissatisfied with my appearance, it’s time to get the fuck over it and move on! I decided whatever number appears on the scale today is MY number, and whatever size clothing fits me today, is MY size! I will be diligent about maintaining the “MY’s,” but I will NOT keep working to make them smaller. That desire is no longer permitted to hold my self worth hostage while demanding a ransom from the mirror and scale. Fuck that!  I've been big and I've been small (or more accurately, "medium") I've come a LONG way from the "big", almost 100 pounds to be exact. I vow to be proud of my determination and accomplishments and finally accept them as success. The phrase “Comparison is the thief of joy” is probably the most accurate and truthful statement applied to life and our expectations. When I’m tempted to compare myself to someone else and be disappointed with where I am, I want to be reminded of how far I’ve come. I guess that’s why I’m making this a public proclamation, so I can be held accountable and remind myself that I accepted the “MY’s” and refuse to focus on changing them in the next 50.

#turning50 #fat #50 #birthday