It’s raining, it’s Friday and I‘m in the throes of PMS. The perfect conditions for declaring an end to adulting for the day and comforting myself with chocolate and Disney+ from my nice warm couch.
I‘m about fifteen minutes into the original Snow White and have never identified more with the Wicked Queen than right now. In fact, if she and Grumpy had a love child, it would be me. PMS isn't solely to blame for my negative attitude towards this movie. Snow White annoyed me as a child, long before I experienced the joys of hormonal fluctuation and rage. Maybe that's because I was a tomboy and didn't gravitate toward "girly" things... or maybe it's because the storyline was very dated and insulted the very few feminine cells I possessed. (Evidenced below)
Either way, my 50-year-old self remains snarky in regard to the plight of this princess. She's annoying as hell with that bimbo voice and flighty demeanor. My young adolescent self perceived "Hi-ho" to be an innocent rhyme sung by the dwarves... but my adult-self now knows it was a greeting. They met Snow White for the first time in a bed so "Hi-ho" is pretty damn appropriate. I have a feeling I will be finding fault with all of the Disney princesses and cheering for their wicked counterparts by the end of this binge.
And when the Wicked Queen transformed into the apple-peddling Witch ... my doppelganger was born. She was seen earlier at the grocery store buying chocolate and tampons.